2020 <> 2021

It feels so cliché to write a blog about 2020 and I hate if I think people think I am anything I consider negative. That was as loopy as javascript. So, it is best that I write this and confront that insecurity.

2020 highlights:

• I gave birth to my first baby, in a pandemic, while living with my husband and his friend. Affordable insurance is tied to employment (first of all, how did that ever become normal and acceptable?!) and I was tied to my husband's insurance. Then we bought a house 3 hours north in Ft. Worth and began the job hunt in February. Yup, you read that right, February right before the pandemic. THEN we realized Matt (and therefore me and baby) would be uninsured during the 2–3 month grace period of a new job. If your head is spinning, this is the abridged version… Matt un-quit his job (thank goodness they loved him) and we moved in with our friend Mitch. He let us live with him for 2 months for free since we were paying our mortgage in a house we couldn't live in. So, I spent my third trimester, at the beginning of the pandemic, living with a friend just waiting to pop. The pandemic hit a week after we moved in with Mitch.
• We all started wearing masks and hoped the pandemic would pass before the baby was born in May. We were SO hopeful…
• I stayed the night in the hospital 2 weeks before Reese was born because of some complications, that was a first for me. It was especially traumatic when Matt was escorted out of the hospital because of COVID. Guests were no longer allowed on the high-risk pregnancy floor. Imagine the women who were there for weeks or months, alone. There were a lot of tears on that floor and not just from me. I heard women sobbing all night long.
• We bought a house just before the pandemic and completely missed out on the plummeting interest rates.
• My sister AND my brother moved to the DFW area!
• My in-laws also moved 45 min away from us.
• Matt was unemployed for 3 months after Reese was born because of the pandemic. Matt had been offered a job in DFW and then elective surgeries were shut down and therefore, Matts's job offer was on hold INDEFINITELY! But he had already quit and we had already moved. There was nothing we could do and yet the government STILL does not acknowledge that he was eligible for unemployment. We have been trying to dispute the decision since JUNE. I am still upset about this if you can’t tell. It was a blessing to have Matt home with his newborn baby but the uncertainty of income stripped away most of the joy.
• I had to say goodbye to Austin and everything that it meant to me. Leaving home is hard.
• I played frisbee only a few times when normally I play so often I can’t keep count. When I played for the first time postpartum I cried I was so happy.

Despite all of this, this year brought us our baby. It made me a mom. And it drew me closer to my husband and family.

Some goals I have for 2021:

• Say what is on my mind right away. This one is for you Matt.
• Go see my friend Kelly in CO, I miss her so much!
• See my grandparents and introduce their 24th (?) great-grandchild as soon as they are safe from COVID.
• Become a software engineer!
• Worry less about what people think of me and focus on how I think of me.